I’m sure we’ve all heard it said that communication in a long distance relationship is KEY. Yet, not just any communication will build a solid foundation for your relationship. You need QUALITY communication in a long distance relationship or you could find yourself feeling isolated. A lack of quality communication in an LDR could be putting your relationship through unneeded stress.
So how can you keep strong communication in a long distance relationship?
Remember that it’s always quality over quantity. Having lots of communication is not enough to keep your relationship strong if you aren’t truly connecting to each other.
Long Distance Relationships that last always have these 3 essential elements in their communications.
HONESTY:
Honesty is the only way you’ll be able to build trust and fight through the struggles of long-distance. Being honest with each other will build trust and stability in your relationship.
You will also have the reassurance to know that you are being fully heard by your partner and not giving them half-truths about your life. They will only be able to support you if you let them know how you’re really feeling. Wouldn’t you rather have an honest partner than someone who just says what they think you want to hear?
When it comes to communication in a long distance relationship, honesty is truly the best policy. Even in small matters; make sure to tell your partner the full truth. There is no trust without honesty, and if there is no jealousy when you have trust.
It’s very important to never lie to your partner! Make honesty a rule in your relationship.
In our relationship, we were 100% honest with each other from day 1. Looking back now; we know our relationship would have had a much MUCH tougher time if we had given false information or hidden how we were truly feeling from each other.
No relationship can be built on dishonesty, and no trust can be built on lies. Practice honesty every day in your relationship by even answering the question “How was your day?” with COMPLETE honesty.
BEING OPEN:
In relation to that, being open is essential to building a strong relationship. When you aren’t able to meet in person, there can be obstacles to getting to know the true person behind the screen. The best way to confront this challenge is to be completely yourself: don’t put on a mask of who you think they want.
Share stories from your past: the good and the bad. Open up about your dreams, your goals, your fears. It can be scary to let yourself be seen, but this is the only way you’ll find out if you and your partner are right for each other.
Some great ways to build this intimacy and familiarity are to do personality quizzes or question games together. Recently we were suggested to try the “36 Questions to Fall in Love” from The New York Times and we loved how it brought us closer. Another great resource is “We’re not really strangers” which is a card game designed to dig deep into who you are and your relationships with others.
A few other suggestions are:
- Truth or Dare
- DISC Personality Test
- Myers Briggs Personality Test
- Enneagram Personality Test
- 200 Conversation Starters for couples
- Two Truths and One Lie
CONSISTENCY:
Time together is precious in a LDR, so it’s important to make sure you have consistent times when you can have quality communication in a long distance relationship.
Some couples are fighting time differences that wrap around the whole globe, making it even more important to schedule times when can properly connect. Make sure to choose a time when you can both be fully attentive and don’t have other commitments.
One very important conversation to have with your partner is setting boundaries and expectations.
Let your partner know what are your expectations on what you’d like to see from your partner in communication. Don’t forget to ask them what they expect as well! Do your best to compromise and be there for each other.
We’ve seen many couples who get frustrated with each other when they discover that they have different definitions of what “regular” communication in a long distance relationship is. Whatever regular means to you; make sure you and your partner are on the same page.
Even if you can’t talk together a lot, make sure that it’s still a part of your schedule. Authentic and real communication is so vital to your relationship, and is much more important than constant updates. Sending a short message every day is a nice thought; but always make sure to have a day when you both can properly catch up.
Don’t forget the value of date nights!
Setting a consistent date night where you can share your life honestly and openly with your loved one will help you build the strongest long distance relationship you can. Time to unwind together, and fully connect your hearts. Let your inner person speak and make sure to fully listen to your partner as they share as well. Our page has some great intimate date ideas that can help you foster great communication in a long distance relationship.
It’s not always easy, but it is always worth it.
Let us know in the comments how you prioritize QUALITY communication over QUANTITY.