Resolutions and the New Year are like peanut butter and bananas. They go great together, but one only lasts a week. It’s fair to say we’ve all been there, having a desire but not being able to finish it out. Therefor the obvious must be asked, how can you succeed in accomplishing your goals?
If you’ve ever been to a gym the first week in January, you’ll find a packed house, only to find it deserted 10 days later. The plans we make can fall apart, despite our best intentions. While not good for our bodies, we certainly don’t want our relationship plans to fall of the wagon either.
So how does that impact our relationships? For many of us COVID disrupted our plans and goals for 2020. 2021 is a fresh start, and you and your partner can benefit from setting goals and considering your future together. Most long-distance couples are used to making plans with their partner, and some even are looking to close the distance. So whether you are planning a vacation, making a move, or asking that important question, it might be time to start preparing for your 2021 goals.
Whatever the reason, this is perfect time to open the conversation and create goals for 2021 as a couple and this list will help you achieve your new years goals. This list will help us all to with sticking to your resolutions and finishing what we started.
1. Write down your goals.
If you want to be successful, don’t just talk about it! Make your goals more concrete by writing it down on PAPER! Studies have shown, you are 1.4 times more likely to complete goals once physically written down.
This doesn’t mean we tuck it in our sock drawer; rather you should have your goals displayed nearby. Have it in a place that can be constantly seen, so the mental reminder is always fresh. Have a notepad or sticky note close by? Find a pen and get those goals to paper. Write it big and bold and don’t be embarrassed.
If you have a goal to exercise or start a new habit, you may find success with keeping track of your progress in a log book.
2. Share your goals with your partner.
Being in a relationship has a lot of perks, and one of those is a guaranteed best friend. Your mate isn’t just your partner in crime, they’re your confidante, your support, and a buddy who can help keep you on track. Your partner is the perfect aid to help you succeed in accomplishing your goals. Truly they are and should be the person you can count to be above all, honest. Share your goals, work on them together, be accountable, and let yourself be held to a standard.
Studies in behavioral neuroscience have shown the “buddy” system helps reduce stress and improve management over negative behaviors. No matter what your goal, set a weekly check-in for you and your partner. This not only gives you another activity to enjoy together but will also give you satisfaction in the long run as you take the steps towards meeting your goal.
As couples we share together, we laugh together, we lose together, and we win together. Don’t be shy to bring your goals in the open, and let yourself be challenged and supported by your partner. Your goals don’t need to be treated like a competition: so don’t act like it’s a race, but like you’re going on a run together.
3. Don’t get discouraged.
We’ve all been there; hitting discouragement or running into a snag during our goal progress.
We know how it feels; Imagine getting engaged, then two weeks later a global pandemic shuts down all your plans. So trust me when I say, I know exactly how discouragement feels. Moments like this can leave us feeling down and out; the experience crushing to our souls and stamina. It’s moments like these that test us, mold our character, and make us better people.
Life isn’t about if we’ll hit an obstacle, but when.
But our goals and our relationships are worth sticking with, no matter what trouble we face.
Even on a small scale, remember to always fully evaluate what you’re doing. Consider the goal might be too big of an undertaking. Think about a heavy object we need to life; our pride will tell us we can, our muscles have a different opinion. Sometimes we may need to step back, get help, or rethink our approach if we want to succeed in accomplishing your goals. It may require you to start small, and slowly work your way up. No one become and Olympic swimming, without learning how to swim first. Whatever you’ve written down as your goal, make it realistic since the outcome we desire is success.
4. Push over the hump.
2020 was an obstacle for everyone. While we all can breath a little easier, we aren’t out of the woods just yet. COVID aside, this year will come with it’s own hurdles that are sure to derail us.
Don’t let the distractions deter you or discourage you, because no matter what happens, you can succeed in accomplishing your goals. Anyone can start a race, but it takes stamina and focus to finish.
Life is tough: and those of us in long-distance relationships face added difficulties. Rescheduled plans might be postponed again. That vacation or flight could be rescheduled and end in tears. These challenges don’t give us an excuse to give up, but give us a reason to keep going.
Life can stink sometimes but luckily we have someone in our lives we can rest on. No matter the obstacles in the way, or the emotional pain we’re sure to face, we can always have hope.
5. Take the next step.
Let your actions speak louder than words.
This might be your year to finally dive in and take the plunge you always wanted. This could mean moving across the county, or finally popping the question. Life can be scary, full of confusion and uncomfortable decisions, but promises and plans are worthless without the action.
Make this a time to be bold, to do something you never thought possible. Let’s face it, long-distance relationships have something special, since we know it’s not strictly the physical that keeps us together. Has it entered into your head that this person could be “the one”?
Now I’m not suggesting, just because it’s a new year, to go off and get engaged. Though if you’ve felt that inevitable, but have lacked the courage or hope to make that happen, then now is the time.
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