Closing the Distance: Our Greencard Journey of Love and Perseverance
Closing the distance is the ultimate dream for every long-distance couple. Finally, you reach a future where you aren’t bound by time zones, making travel plans, and enduring constant calls, isolation, and separation from the one you love. For us, the journey of “closing the distance” took over 3 years of patience and resilience but the rewards were so worth it! Each day, we feel so thankful that we get to wake up next to our best friend and embark on the beautiful journey of life together. We feel truly blessed beyond measure. Our story, intertwined with the pursuit of a greencard, is a testament to the power of love conquering all obstacles.
If you find yourself in a long-distance relationship, you might be eagerly seeking ways to close the distance and could have some burning questions about our personal journey. How did we initiate the process of closing the distance? Well, it all began with extensive research and seeking advice from others who had experienced a similar path.
You may have read our previous post talking about the stages LDR couples face throughout their relationship, but let me dive into what our specific experiences were with this turbulent period of life.
The journey we embarked upon was filled with both trials and triumphs, and we want to share it all with you.
Hopefully our story can serve as a source of inspiration and hope for fellow long-distance couples navigating the ups and downs of closing the distance.
Please note that none of this should be taken as legal advice, it is simply our story and experiences. You should do your own research with official sources if you are looking into closing the distance and your own immigration journey. Let me summarize our story the best I can…
Chapter 1: Meeting online
In the winter of 2018, amidst the cold and wintry weather, destiny had a surprise in store for us. Dave and I crossed paths in the most unexpected of places – Reddit, of all platforms. Little did we know that this serendipitous encounter would forever change the course of our lives. Although we weren’t seeking love that day, our very first video call revealed something magical. We knew instantly that the person we were speaking to was going to be someone very special in our lives. Love at first sight? Just about as near as it gets. Even though he was from Maryland USA, and I was from British Columbia Canada, we felt we had known each other our entire lives.
Five hours on the first call, six the next day, and the hours seemed to grow as our bond deepened. We found ourselves sitting in Starbucks, not wanting to part even after seven or eight hours of heartfelt conversations. Time seemed to blur as we chatted endlessly, witnessing shifts change around us, all while our hearts drew closer. We would literally see people start and end their work shifts while we were still on our computers chatting.
Within the first week, we had said those magical 3 words: “I love you”. Our love moved quickly, but we both felt such a genuine connection that we couldn’t deny our hearts.
A week later as we entered 2019 we made ourselves an official couple. My parents were less than pleased that I was dating a man from across the continent, in a different country, who was much older than me, and came from a different background and religion. Despite their reservations, Dave and I empathized with their perspective and respected their feelings. We understood that bridging such gaps required patience and understanding. To address their worries, we made sincere efforts to show them how deeply we cared for each other and how committed we were to making this relationship work. There became an unspoken rule that Dave and I could not video call in the home. Although we were disappointed, we respected their wishes and chose to navigate our relationship with sensitivity. This period taught us the importance of communication, compromise, and the willingness to adapt to the challenges that love sometimes presents.
Over the following months, our love only deepened, and we found ourselves completely infatuated with each other. Our cherished Starbucks video call dates became a lifeline, bridging the distance that separated us physically. However, as our affection grew, so did the financial strain of frequenting the coffee shop. I was spending almost every afternoon as a cafe customer just so I could call my boyfriend. Realizing that I was spending a considerable amount on their food and coffee, I made a life-changing decision in the spring of 2019 – I moved out on my own.
It was time for me to have a space of my own. I needed to become my own person and find out who I was. The move was not just about seeking more independence; it was also driven by the need for increased freedom and space to nurture both my relationship with Dave and my evolving beliefs. This newfound sense of autonomy came with a price – my monthly expenses escalated. Yet, I believe that this was worth it for everything I learned in the experience.
Chapter 2: Meeting in person
Dave and I were looking to meet in person as soon as possible, but unfortunately, his passport was expired. We applied right away, but processing would take a few months. As luck would have it, my family was planning a trip to New York, which was just a few hours away from Dave’s home in Maryland. I found myself facing a daring decision – to take a leap of faith and seize the opportunity to meet Dave for the very first time. With butterflies in my stomach, I decided to embark on this adventurous journey and fly to him in July of 2019.
I was so nervous, and was shaking and sweating through my flights. As excited as I was to meet him, I was still so scared of what it would be like when we connected. What if we didn’t get along very well in person? People around me on the plane noticed my fears and were so sweet comforting and reassuring me. They even gave me their phone numbers and prayed for me.
Once I landed in the USA it felt like my heart was going to burst through my chest, and I still remember the moment we met so clearly. I ran up to him and gave him a huge hug but it felt so foreign. My brain and heart were so happy to see him but my body hadn’t caught up yet and it felt like I was hugging a stranger. It was such a bizarre experience, but we adjusted very quickly once we settled in. That first trip was spectacular, and more than enough for us to know we truly were in love and wanted to spend forever together.
Once I landed in the USA it felt like my heart was going to burst through my chest, and I still remember the moment we met so clearly. I ran up to him and gave him a huge hug but it felt so foreign. My brain and heart were so happy to see him but my body hadn’t caught up yet and it felt like I was hugging a stranger. It was such a bizarre experience, but we adjusted very quickly once we settled in. That first trip was spectacular, and more than enough for us to know we truly were in love and wanted to spend forever together.
That photo of us in the blue is from our first date at the Baltimore Aquarium. It was also my phone background for years.
Chapter 3: Preparing for Marriage
Before we could even think about tying the knot, or closing the distance, Dave had to meet my parents. Things had cooled down a bit since we started dating but there was definitely still some tension with the whole situation. I don’t blame them: this relationship was quite unexpected for everyone involved, including me and my parents.
Once Dave came out to Canada to visit, things started to move along a little more smoothly. We sat down together, and my parents had the chance to get to know Dave better. They asked him questions about his life, and we all shared some quality time over meals. And you know what? Dave blew them away with his card tricks! He’s quite the magician, and it brought smiles to their faces. I could see that, slowly but surely, they were warming up to him.
Before our first-year anniversary, Dave and I were already certain that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We had even started casually shopping for rings, exploring different styles that resonated with us. It was a fun and exciting process, giving us both an opportunity to envision our future together. Dave was heavily hinting that he was preparing to propose very soon.
Even though we were only on our third visit, having spent a total of 10-25 days together in person over the past year since we met, we felt a connection that went far beyond the physical distance. The countless hours of video calls and phone conversations had brought us closer than we could have ever imagined. To some, our pace might have seemed fast, but for us, it was just right. There was no doubt in our minds that we wanted to close the distance together.
With the support of our families and the unstoppable love we shared, Dave soon prepared to pop the question. As the day approached, a mix of excitement and anticipation filled the air. We knew in our hearts that this was the right path for us, and we couldn’t wait to begin this new chapter together.
As February of 2020 approached, Dave and I were both aware that our next meeting would be an unforgettable one – he was going to propose! I couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness. I had been worried about planning the momentous occasion, wanting everything to go smoothly. Little did I know that Dave had a surprise in store that would melt my heart.
Unbeknownst to me, Dave had been secretly conspiring with my co-worker for months. Together, they hatched a plan for him to arrive a day earlier than expected, catching me completely off guard. Even though his flight was canceled on the day of his big plan he still was able to arrive on time to propose with some last-minute adjustments. It was the sweetest gesture and it showed just how thoughtful and devoted he was. He popped the question at a beautiful park overlooking the ocean at sunset, and of course, I said yes to his proposition. It was a magical and emotional moment, filled with love and joy. We spent the remainder of his visit celebrating with friends and family.
At that moment, as we stood hand in hand, we knew that our journey had led us to this unforgettable milestone. Yet the challenges of the greencard process and ultimately closing the distance still had to be overcome.
Chapter 4: Looking into closing the distance
After Dave’s return home, we dove headfirst into discussions about immigration and our future plans. It was time to tackle the big question of where we would build our life together. We had long conversations, weighing the pros and cons of both America and Canada, trying to make the most informed decision possible. Here are some of the key factors we considered:
- Our job positions & incomes
- Our families in both areas
- Cost of living in both areas
- Future goals for us as a couple
- Future travel between the two locations
- Visa options & availability
Our final decision for me to move to Maryland USA came down to three main factors. Firstly, Dave had a much higher-paying job that was in a more stable position than mine. Secondly, we felt we’d have a better social net in Maryland than we would in BC due to Dave’s circle of friends and family. Finally, we felt that, in our circumstances, immigration was easier coming into the USA than into Canada. As we started looking at visa options we felt our hearts sinking at both the amount of time and amount of money.
When we started researching in March of 2020, these were the options, timelines, & prices:
2020 Option 1: K1 Visa (Fiancé Visa Application)
- Also known as the 90-day fiancé visa
- Processing time: 6-10 months (followed by 3-8 months of waiting for work approval, and then 4-17 months waiting for greencard)
- Cost: ~$2200 – $3000
- Pros: Faster path to being together, & we were currently engaged so it fits our status
- Cons: More expensive, Longer overall processing time, Inability to work & travel while awaiting final approval, multiple applications to process
2020 Option 2: CR-1 Visa (Spousal Visa Application)
- Visa used to move your foreign spouse to your country
- Processing time: 6-20 months (followed by 3-8 months of waiting for work approval, and then 4-17 months waiting for greencard)
- Cost: ~$1400 – $2500
- Pros: cheaper, less paperwork, faster path to greencard
- Cons: Takes longer to be reunited, would have to get married first and then stay in distance, would spend the first year of being married separated
If you are looking to close the distance, please do your own research as I’m going off of what we remember from the time and many fees and timelines have changed.
After a lot of discussions, we decided to go with the K1 visa so we wouldn’t have to spend our marriage separated and figured at least Dave could still visit while waiting for approval. We submitted our initial application and paid the $500+ processing fee and started our long wait.
Unfortunately, this was all 2 weeks before the borders closed, airlines shut down, and travel to each other across the border became impossible.
Chapter 5: Border closures & visa applications
The Summer of 2020 brought unforeseen challenges and heartache as travel to see each other was abruptly put on an indefinite pause. It felt like an eternity of misery and loneliness, and the uncertainty of the times weighed heavily on both of us. Adding to our worries, Dave faced a layoff from his job, and my own work situation felt equally precarious. We were initially told by officials that the borders would only be closed for 1 month, but after 4 months we had started to lose hope of seeing each other.
Yet, amid the despair, there was a glimmer of hope – a special little park on the border of Canada and the USA. This seemingly ordinary park became extraordinary for us. You can read more about our experiences with Peace Arch Park under our About Us page or on the social media account “Hearts of Peach Arch”, but what I’ll say for now is that it was the light at the end of the tunnel that kept us going. We only were able to see each other thanks to the park, and we’re so thankful for the opportunities it created for us and other cross-border couples and families.
In those moments at the park, we found solace in the fact that we were not alone in this struggle. There were others like us, separated by borders but united by love. Despite the separation, our hearts were intertwined, and the park became a symbol of our enduring love and the resilience of our relationship.
While reuniting in the park, we started our K1 visa process. It was expensive and slow. Since many offices were closed or dealing with pauses in processing during the Covid-19 pandemic, the whole process was delayed by months. Many online estimates had doubled what they previously expected the processing time to be for the fiance visa, and other reports said that the spousal visa was now being prioritized. Due to the shutdown, we spent our entire engagement period in 2020 just trying to survive, instead of getting the exciting wedding prep and festivities. We were crushed but had no way out. After a year of stress and depression and struggle all we wanted was to be together. So on our last official visit together in the Summer of 2021, we decided to do something spontaneous.
Chapter 6: Eloping in Hawaii
Originally when I arrived in Maryland in June of 2021 I was going to stay with Dave for 2 weeks, then return to Canada and quarantine for 2 weeks. But once we were together, it didn’t feel like nearly enough time. Those who have been in a long-distance relationship might relate: it never is enough time. We decided to extend my trip a few weeks longer. After the third week together I realized I couldn’t go home and leave him, and Dave realized he couldn’t let me leave. We were meant to be together, and we couldn’t wait any longer.
We started to look at other options and decided that we would elope instead of waiting for our K1 visa. It was pretty chaotic trying to plan a quick wedding and honeymoon in only a month, but I think we did very well. I even bought my dress (for only $25) only 3 days before we got married!
It was very bittersweet to be eloping. On one hand, we were thrilled to finally embark on this journey of starting our life together. However, it also brought a tinge of sadness, as we had both always envisioned our families being there to share in our wedding day joy. Unfortunately with the border situation, we knew my family wouldn’t be able to come to a normal wedding, and I didn’t want our special day to be filled with dark clouds of sadness at missing my family.
The thought of having a wedding surrounded by unfamiliar faces, with my heart heavy thinking about my parents, siblings, and friends who couldn’t be there, was difficult to bear. I envisioned myself surrounded by people I didn’t know, and spending my wedding day trying not to cry. It would have been impossible not to be thinking about my parents and siblings and friends who I wish were there. Eloping seemed like the right path, where it could be just the two of us, cherishing the intimacy and closeness we shared. We knew our families would understand and we planned to celebrate with loved ones later.
While a courthouse wedding or a simple local ceremony was a consideration, we wanted to create an unforgettable experience that would be etched in our hearts forever. Together we decided to make the day incredible by getting married on the beautiful beaches of Maui. We did a lot of research into marriage license requirements and different packages available and found a fantastic photographer who arranged all the details for us and scouted locations.
Getting all the paperwork and travel plans together was still stressful, but in my mind much less so than it would have been planning a wedding. Plus we saved a lot of money! We were going to need it to finish the immigration and greencard process.
The ceremony was beautiful and memorable and filled with excitement for our new lives together. We both cried thinking about how much we had been through together. September 5th, 2021 will be a day we remember for the rest of our lives. Plus our honeymoon was the best! We snorkeled and hiked and swam with sea turtles and jumped off of waterfalls together. We’ll definitely be returning to Maui someday soon.
Now all that was left was more paperwork, and more patience.
Chapter 7: Application for Adjustment of Status
Since I had come to the USA as a tourist and changed my mind, we had to navigate a new process called “adjustment of status.” This process was to adjust my status from a temporary tourist to a legal resident in America. It was a little discouraging to start another process in our immigration journey, and in some ways felt like we were starting all over again. However, being together made the process a lot more bearable.
We put in our application for my adjustment in October of 2021, just before my tourist visa in America expired.
For the application, we had to send in copies of all our documentation and ID with everything from birth certificates to photos of our marriage certificate. The two of us also had to attend appointments for biometrics and tax information, contact hospitals and family members, and provide evidence of our relationship. Dave also had to prove he made enough money to support me financially. The whole process was once again long and expensive. We paid over $1500 for this new application, in addition to what we had already paid so far, as our K1 visa application fee was non-refundable.
We kept our hopes up while waiting, and knew that this was the final few steps for us to be together forever. Many days we would get so excited seeing a package from US Immigration arriving just for it to be a request for additional information. There were quite a few processes that could have been streamlined if we didn’t miss a step. Since we submitted all our applications ourselves we knew there was bound to be a mistake or two. Throughout this period of patience, we both kept heart that soon the journey would be over.
Chapter 8: Medical Requirements & The Final Steps
One of the requirements for my green card was that I had to have the right vaccinations and do some medical tests for diseases. I had my Covid vaccinations but I needed further coverage for several other required immunizations. At my medical examination, I had to get 4 different shots and did multiple blood tests. My arms were very sore afterward, but our wallets definitely felt the most pain. The tests and applications cost us an additional $1000+.
Fortunately, we knew this was the final turn! Everything we had read online said that the medical examination was the last step before getting my green card. The end was just around the corner, and we felt like we could finally feel the relief that was going to come from closing the distance.
Chapter 9: Green card received and finally closing the distance!
Less than 2 weeks after my medical processing my green card and Social Insurance Number (SIN) finally arrived in the mail. It was April 2023 and our journey was finally coming to a close, along with the distance that had kept us apart for so long. If you follow us on social media you may know how eagerly we were waiting for the news that the process was complete. Somedays it felt like it was never going to come, but all the patience paid off. The whole process cost so much time and money, but it was worth it to be together for good. We were both so excited to have the relief that I could stay in America and could now get an American job.
With the green card and SIN in hand, a huge weight was lifted off our shoulders. The relief of knowing that I could now stay in America permanently was indescribable. It marked the beginning of a new chapter in our lives, filled with endless possibilities and opportunities.
For both of us, this moment held a huge sense of liberation. Not just liberation from video calls and the constant pain of long-distance: we experienced a lot of personal freedom as well. I was now free to pursue my dreams with my husband by my side, including seeking an American job. Receiving my greencard was a chance to build a life together in a place we had both come to love and call home.
Since getting my green card I’ve been able to start a new position, open a US Bank account, get proper health insurance, and celebrate my first “Independence Day” as a real resident of America. July 4th definitely hits differently now that USA is my home. We’ve celebrated everyday that we’ve spent together, and are thankful for how far God has brought us. We’ve also been so blessed with amazing friends and have loved watched our little community grow.
Although all of those new beginnings are very exciting, what I was most excited about with my greencard was finally being able to return to Canada and visit my family.
Chapter 10: Returning to Canada
Throughout the process, I was unable to travel freely between the borders. Had I gone back to Canada, I would not be able to return to the USA due to not having a visa. As of now (July 2023) it has been 2 years and 2 months since I last saw my family. Being away from them is almost as hard as the isolation I experienced with Dave in our long-distance relationship.
There have been so many moments that I wished I could talk with my Mom or Dad and ask their advice, especially while planning the wedding and beginning our new marriage. I’ve wished so badly just to play a game with my brother again, or take my sister out for food. I wish we could share life together in the same way that I get to share it with Dave’s parents and siblings. Gathering for special family dinners, sharing relaxed summer evenings, or even just texting little updates about our days. I’ve missed funerals and celebrations and family reunions and more. Without the closeness, we aren’t as in contact and have drifted apart in many ways.
Some nights I’ve even woken up crying from nightmares that I’ve missed a huge life event with my family, or that they tell me they don’t want to see me again. I hope they miss me as much as I miss them, but it’s impossible to tell. I wish things could be normal, but I know that’s the cost of distance. Always being a few hours apart, and thousands of miles away. Someone told me a few years ago that when you close the distance with your partner you don’t stop having a long-distance relationship: you just begin a new one with the friends and family who are now much further away.
Fortunately, I won’t have to miss them much longer. We booked a trip out to see them in August, which is coming up fast! So much has changed since I last saw them in 2021. This will be the first time my family has seen us as a married couple. They’ve never seen me as a wife, or Dave as my husband. Due to the distance, they haven’t even been able to spend time with Dave and I together since 2019! We’re a little nervous, like teenagers introducing a crush, but also so excited just to be around them again. I want Dave to have a chance to become friends with all the people I love most. I am hopeful that we’ll have enough time on the trip to reconnect with all our friends and family and everyone who has supported us through this crazy journey of closing the distance.
What's next for us?
First thing in our minds is taking full advantage of being able to travel again. Now that I have my green card there is nothing stopping us from traveling the world and seeing as much as we can. First on the travel list is Canada so that Dave and I can spend some quality time connecting with my family. We’re always talking about our next adventures and would love to hear about your favorite travel spots. Feel free to email us or message us on social media with any great travel suggestions!
I’d also like to start working toward citizenship in America, and perhaps see if I can get dual citizenship for US & Canada.
As we look back on our incredible greencard journey from Canada to the United States, we can’t help but feel grateful for the love that carried us through every step of the way. It was a challenging adventure, but it also is a testament to the strength of our bond. Now, with the immigration process behind us, we were filled with excitement and hope for the future. We were ready to embrace all that life had in store for us, knowing that whatever came our way, we would face it together, hand in hand. Our love had conquered all, and as we stepped into this new chapter, we knew that our journey together had only just begun. Although we’re not sure exactly where we’ll end up in our next chapter, we know we’ll be together.
Thank you for reading! If you’re currently experiencing a long-distance relationship, Dave and I hope this story gave you a sense of hope and happiness. We’re so excited to share this news with our supportive community. If you have any questions or comments about our green card experiences or immigration journey please reach out to us, or connect with us on social media.