Many in a long distance relationship have found their soulmate. It’s been months of deep conversation, but you can only take so much skype and facetime. You know what has to be done, the distance must now be closed. Things have moved beyond the planning stage, and soon you’ll be meeting for the first time in a long distance relationship. The only step is to set the date, buy the tickets, and let the anticipation build. The moment has arrived and you’re finally ready to meet that special someone. I can’t recommend meeting enough, but what I learned should help you in making the right decisions and knowing what to expect on this journey.
The setup.
Before you make any plans, remember the most important rule, safety. No matter how well you know someone, there’s always the possibility for bad intentions. The first place you meet, should be a public one, whether an airport, bus station or a restaurant. Don’t travel directly to someone’s home, no matter if you’ve known them six days or six months. There’s reasons beyond safety, which we’ll get into, but the first meeting needs to be in an open place. I realize circumstances are strange, but both parties should be heavily invested in security and comfort.
Having this boundary will be beneficial to ease tension, and create a level of safety you didn’t have before. The chances your special person is a psychopath straight out of TV is probably slim. It’s exciting meeting for the first time in a long distance relationship, but don’t get carried away to a point of ignoring the red flags. This precaution is just a seatbelt, having it just in case everything goes off the road.
On top of this, you should let someone know your exact plans and stick to them. Either a family member or friend should know the location, address, name and face of the person you are meeting. This seems obvious, but love can make us forgetful and skip over some simple tasks. Stick to these rules and more, removes the stress of a dangerous possibilities and allows for a smoother meet.
Simple beginnings.
When planning your first meet, it might be wise to stay away from extravagant vacations and locations. Our imaginations get carried away, and many of us have fantasized about those moments when we’re finally ready to be physically close. In setting this up, it’s important to know two facts.
Firstly, keep it simple. Six months into my long distance relationship, my family and I went to Hawaii on vacation. We had this idea, of how amazing it would be if she flew down and visited, even though we hadn’t yet met physically. What we soon released, while sure to be amazing, would have left us in a strange place. In our dating life, there would be nowhere to build from there. A beach in Hawaii is one heck of a first date, and it’s hard to top that experience. Paradise destinations are something to work towards as a couple, reserved for honeymoons and vacations. While a resort might seem like a good idea for a first meet, consider you would never do this if you weren’t in a long distance relationship. Make it special, make it romantic, but leave room for growth, since you obviously intend to spend a lot of time with this person in your future.
Secondly, keep it on the short side. I’ll start by saying, a day isn’t enough. You need time for your body to catch up, which I’ll get to. A long weekend is a good place to begin, with perhaps adding another day or two. Meeting for the first time in a long distance relationship, should be the ignition and confirmation that you two are in love. You don’t need a whole week to make these moments last for a lifetime, you only need a couple of real moments.
The first moments.
The moment is finally upon you, the first time you meet. You’ve closed the distance, travelled far now finally about to make physical contact. Now be prepared for what’s probably the most awkward couple hours of your life. What we didn’t realize, even after hundreds of hours of skype and texting, your mind might know this person, but your body doesn’t. You’ve never actually seen this person before, especially in a 3rd dimension and will all your senses. You don’t know their scent, the feel of their skin, the way they walk, and their voice that isn’t coming from a speaker. Doesn’t matter how close you two are, your body will tell you, “why are you hugging a stranger?”
How can you avoid this? You can’t, just let the feelings fade naturally. Meeting for the first time in a long distance relationship comes with it’s on set of challenges, but this is one neither of us expected. It’s possible you don’t have this happen to you, and you immediately leap into each other’s arms. For myself and many other couples, there was a time for adjustment, ranging from a few hours, to a day. Don’t let these moments deter you, or make you run in fear, but push through this moment, and let your feelings and body mold together.
What if the oddity doesn’t pass?
Now it’s been a few days, and you’re still just as awkward as the first moment, now what? Perhaps you jumped into the more physical aspects of the relationship too quickly, and now you feel disjointed. Firstly, don’t panic, it might just take you a little while longer to adjust This is a new experience, unnatural, therefore rushing through isn’t a good option. We’re creatures of habit and comfort, so don’t push away from the situation, but stay and see if the relationship improves. Most importantly, communicate this with your partner. It’s an awkward conversation to have for sure, yet one that needs to be addressed. They should want you to feel as comfortably as possible, and caring to the needs you’ve addressed. Even after you’ve spent time, the strangeness might not have passed. If that is the case, at first you don’t succeed, try again. As the saying goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day. As we continually grow closer as couples, the physical will take time as well, so keep working on it, be patient and push onward.
It’s worth it.
Meeting for the first time in a long distance relationship can be a terrifying and rewarding experience. The best moments in my life have been within our time together. Though we’ve spent 60 days together within 2 years, I wouldn’t trade those for the world. Growing as people and as couples, means you face trails together, and overcome them with the love and sacrifice you have for each other. That first meet, will be a moment you never forget, so run into it with open arms, ready for whatever happens, and falling more in love with your person than ever before.